|
Words
of wisdom from
Ol'Doc Gibson
First post @ the bottom...start
there |
| sorry
about the absence... aside from the fact that I can't remember me password
I been busy inventing a new religion- called Doc-ism... an' as you boys
know, all respectable religions gotta have a holy book, so I been writin'
my own... The first book goes something like this...
Paeon to the Paiens
Assemble at my
feet o pagan children of the Ethereal Light, for I speak to you not as
one who aspires to deceive, much less as one who wouldst throw dust in
the eyes of mere infants, but rather as one who has penetrated the ephemeral
veil of mortal hubris and seen at first hand the plasmic ion-fields of
Aeternity's sweetly sybillant breath. For yea, I have, in all my mortal
nakedness, danced to the extra-temporal
Terpsichorean chthonic rhythms of invisible cosmic scrotal maracas, and
have verily I say unto ye suckled at the teats of omniscience, discerning
thereby regions of eleven-dimensional space where time phenomena and aroma
spin on the tip of a transmorphously intergalactic foreskin.
Bend to the will of the aethereal Dionysian E-bow, O children of the fleshly
forest. Draw succor from the nasally lubricious Sebastophone and gather
in faith to the membranophonic musings of Cheops and Iannis, for unto
them has been given the pan-synchronously indeterminate power to turn
your simple minds from the ways of the world and the foolish for they,
and they alone, have been charged to direct you to the sonically euphonious
mantras found only upon pious contemplation of harmonic
spectra beyond dimensionality and the ken of mere physicality.
In all holiness and love, Ol' Doc.
Ol' Doc
- 6/03/06 |
Krull
/v. The practice of secreting mints or other flavoured sweets into one's
perineum during obsolete religious observances of a more contemplative nature.
Ancient Celtic krulling calendars have been dated to ca. 175 ad, which would
indicate that the practice would have been familiar to the residents of
Hibernia long before the Anglo-Saxon invasions. Recent speculation has focused
on the possible emergence of modern day carols (Christmas carols) from earlier
'krulling tunes'. (krull- from Indo-European qayril via Sanskrit kyrol and
Nordic kirull)
Ol' Doc
- 03/18/05 |
"A
COMMEMORATIVE ODE/ O Play on, sweet minstrels, Paiens to the fore/ With
whooshing and moaning of nasal eroto rubato-flutes/ On proud titanium zimrams,
with plasma-field neuro-tech bio-drums.../ thrum, thrum..THRUM, THRUM!/
Play on, play on.../Beckon to the dance, the ignorant hordes/ with your
music so pure and tuneful to the ear/Rend asunder the veil of wanton ignorance/
that binds the unlearned, through slavish fashion/ to the delusional mewlings
of techno-pubic procto-rock/ Play on, play on, o poets delirious/ wear proudly
the saffron band, and/ with algorythhmic arabesques on sylvan rectal zithers/
and tarantellas of desire, amorphously fleshly, yet somehow unseen/ performed
on chromium mutant cephalopodic urine banjos/ pluck, pluck..toot, toot,
thrum and deliver/ Euphonius musings from sweet Terpsichores oleaginous
quiver/ Play on,peons, Paiens to the core. "
Ol' Doc
- 07/11/04 |
"You
boys sounded real good accompanying D'Atchoo Mousse-Tousse last night...
D'Atchoo sounded great as well- last time I heard him the Crottes de Lascaux
still had wet paint. Anyway, us up at the college think youse are the Mule's
Drool and we're mighty proud to have gived most of you your learnig. Why,
I think even old Martian Polka (the former head of dept) would join me in
sending you a big 'well done!'. I couldn't stay long...I'm writin' a string
quartet and you know me...might as well try blowing Froot Loops out my arse
as writing on a hangover. You've inspired Ol' Doc, nevertheless, to come
up with a Commemorative Ode, which I will send under separate cover. By
for now. "
Ol' Doc
- 07/11/04 |
"These
are the kind of stories that bring tears to Ol' Doc's eyes. Let us resolve
forthwith to do our best for Randy and Chris...to help return this great
nation of ours into a land of sensible snake lovers, like our forefathers
intended it to be. A serpent in every home...and register now with the Baby
Snakes Party of Canada (the official third party) and in the meantime let's
give thanks, on bended knee, to sensible people of all creeds, religions,
sexual orientation, genders, with or without disbilities, wherever they
may be!"
Ol' Doc
- 07/08/04 |
"Dearest
and most distinguished of friends Mr Paien. It is my most fervant of wish
to your state of best health and prosperity, with the fattest of oxen and
pleasant wives. as you may have heard, recent events of a turbulent nature
in my homeland, the People's Republic of 'Ngomoland have necessitated a
certain amount of discretion on the part of those of us who have been fortunate
enough to acquire material possessions. In my case, I was the lucky beneficiary
of in excess of 3000 metric tonnes of recycled industrial cardboard, currently
valued at approximately 15 cents (US) a tonne, the proceeds of which I am
more than willing to share with you, the distinguished Mr Paien on a 50/50
basis upon receipt of your relevant banking information. Please know that
this transaction must be treated with the utmost discretion. A poorly chosen
word, in the ear of a foolish man could make this whole deal go breasts
up, as they say in the land of your people. With continued hopes for your
longevity and for your wife's fertility, I remain Oldoc. Your urgent reply
is requested and thanking abundantly from my bottom heart."
Oldoc
USA - 07/04/04 |
"Don't
think I didn't see you galivantin' about on Church street just before yer
gig, Hetu and Michaud! Playin' the fools again, no less... Well, it's like
I always say, the best cure for galivantin' is pregnatin'... some of you
boys have been pregnatin' yer girlfriends...the rest; well you know who
you are. Nothing like a little extra responsibility to keep a fellow off
the street, I always say. Yer still good boys, nevertheless!"
Ol' Doc
- 06/28/04 |
"Même
en treffulant les conneries, on peut glyphrager l'essentiel d'une phrase
en pymophanant le context, malgré un certain nombre de glotnichs
stupides. "
Ol' Doc Gibson
- 05/24/04 |
Well
I am sure glad to see that you boys are finished up with galivantin' around
for a bit. Now don't get me wrong..I may've done my fair share of galivantin'
in my time (Ladies, hold your tongues now!)..and I sure as heck is proud
of you, but I think that it isn't fitting to be too footloose 'n fancy
free in this day and age. Anyway, to celebrate yer return to a God fearin'
country (and also the return of your dad-blasted web site) I devised a
little Brain-teaser for you. Here goes... By substituting letters, one
line at a time -with phrases that make sense...well sort of- can you turn
Fred Hetu into a can of cat food? Sound like fun? Well- here goes nuthin,...
1)Frederic Hetu (change one 'e' for an 'n') 2) Turd-free chin (exchange
an 'f' for an 's') 3)Cure this nerd! (Change an 'r' for a 'k') 4) Such
keen dirt! (or Shit-crud knee..if you prefer)...then change an 'i' for
an 'n' ... and voila! 5) 'Tender Chunks'... Frederic Hetu to cat-food
in 5 easy steps.. Bye for now,"
Ol' Doc Gibson.
ol Doc Gibson <gibsonr@umoncton.ca>
- 04/14/04 |
| "Well...I
can't keep you in suspense forever. You see I was doin' some preliminary
research into Ceremonial Circumcision music in the court of Henri IV and
lo and behold, a pome fell outa the book I was reading. Curious thing
about this here pome is that it is comprised entirely of the letters in
Chops' name! Now if that ain't cause for wonderment I don't know what
it'll take to impress you fellers that there is more to this universe
than we know about. Anyway, here goes... O SOPHOS Chops shops co-op Chops'
pooch hops hoops ...poops...! (Oops!) So posh cops shoo Chops! 'cos Chops
sops Soho Hooch...Phospho-pop! "
Doc Gibson
<gibsonr@umoncton.ca>
- 02/26/04 |
"Well
if this just don't beat all... If you spell Jean Surette backwards it comes
out 'Et terus nae j[u]'which, curiously enough, means 'Those canteloupes
don't look very fresh to me, young man!'in the street slang of the fruit
vendors of ancient Illyria. Makes ya kinda want to believe in the supernatural
or somethin' don't it? Bye for now..
Old Doc Gibson from up the college. "
Doc Gibson <gibsonr@umoncton.ca>
- 02/22/04 |
"Well
if this here don't jes put the pickles in the plum puddin' I guess I'm safe
in sayin' that nothin' will! Hasn't any you folks notice if you scramble
up the letters real good, why Denis Surette turns into 'ruined testes' and
Sebastien Michaud becomes 'I had ten basic emus'? Jes checkin."
Doc Gibson<gibsonr@umoncton.ca>
- 10/31/03 |
| |
"Hey!
Like when are youse gonna grow up and get real jobs anyway...? Farting around
on musical instruments is fine 'n dandy as far as it goes, but it don't
put no turnips on the table. (Actually it doesn't put Brussels sprouts or
cabbage on the table either but that's a different matter...I think) Festoons!
"
Doc Gibson<gibsonr@umoncton.ca>
- 10/26/03 |
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